Schedules

I am a believer in schedules. I like predictability. And so does my child. I actually learned that my child needed a schedule the hard way, but I am glad that he wanted one. Because it truly makes my life easier. Let me tell you our baby schedule story. This was our first REAL parenting decision.

Around 5 months, Nathan became hard to handle. Stopped sleeping through the night, wouldn't nap, was over tired, we couldn't figure out what he wanted, he had melt downs and was generally unpredictable. We were at a loss. I felt like a total failure and we were all exhausted. He just wasn't sleeping and I couldn't figure out why. Swaddling was a problem now because he could flip himself over to his tummy and then he was pinned with his face down, we tried to let him cry, which only led to me and him throwing up!

As always, when faced with a challenge, I started researching. I read blogs, books, talked to other moms, subscribed to sleep websites, went to counselling, and argued with my husband. After a week of totally immersing myself in all the different "SLEEP SOLUTIONS", I came to some conclusions: 1. We were not the only ones who's child stopped sleeping through the night and fought naps. 2. We have to do what works for OUR family. 3. We have to stick to a plan. 4. It is a process. There is no one way to get your kid to sleep. AND MOST IMPORTANT 5. My kid was not getting enough sleep!!!

So, we chose and stuck to a 4-hour schedule. We had to get EVERYONE on board: Mommy, daddy, Havilah (the nanny), and Grandma Janna. Our pediatrician said that if we stuck to it, in two weeks, Nathan would be sleeping through the night, taking naps and generally in a better mood.

We started the process over a weekend when Jason and I could support each other. I documented EVERYTHING about it. Nathan's moods, when he got tired, how long he napped, how much he ate, etc. This really helped. It helped keep me sane, keep me on plan, and document progress we were making.

A couple things that I learned in the process: 1. Nathan doesn't have to eat all the time - this was our "go to" when he was cranky and what we found was when he was cranky, he was tired. 2. Thirty minutes is not a nap. 3. Nathan's awake time is 1.5-2 hours at a time. 4. If Nathan does not get enough sleep during the day, he does not sleep well at night. AND MOST IMPORTANT 5. Putting a baby down drowsy, but AWAKE is truly everyone's key to happiness.

Although this was all VERY hard to do, once I made a decision and stuck to it, everyone was happier. Me, Jason, Nathan, our nanny. Everyone. It was like Nathan said: "Finally, someone took control!" It was like he was begging for a schedule. He didn't want to be held during his naps! There was so much change for us all in a week, but it was all needed change. Nathan was put on a 4-hour schedule where eating, napping, and bedtime all happened AROUND the same time each day. Nathan was no longer nursed to sleep. He was put down awake. Napping happened in his crib and not in the swing. Mommy took control and directed everyone on the new plan and in TWO weeks, in general, Nathan sleeps through the night and takes 2 naps 1.5-2 hours long and sometimes a third that is about 30-45 minutes. AMAZING!

Here is what his schedule looks like:

7:00am – Wake and Bottle
Solids
Playtime
8:30 or 9:00 – Nap (1.5-2hr)
11am – Bottle
Playtime
Solids
12:30 or 1:00 – Nap (1.5-2hr)
3pm – Bottle
Playtime
4:30 or 5:00 – Cat Nap (30-45 min)
Solids
Books
Bath
Jammies
7:00 – Bottle
7:15-7:30pm – Night Night

Of course there is flexibility in our schedule. There has to be because life happens and Nathan is a baby! But, in general, this is how his day goes. We work around it and it works. No, it will not work for everyone, but I think it could help a lot of moms when they can't figure out what to do!

Now a couple things we did in conjunction with the schedule:

-Putting Nathan down awake: It was hard, there was some crying, but not the terrible "CRY IT OUT" method that so many swear by. When Nathan cries we pick him up. Always. When he fusses or complains, we don't. We made a distinction and we will always pick him up when he cries. At noon or at 3am. Complaining on the other hand, we let him. So, what we do is if Nathan is put down awake and starts crying, I mean gut wrenching crying, or "Scream crying" is my term, I go in, pick him up and say "momma's here" and hold him and soothe him until he is calm, then I put him back down. As soon as he is calm, not asleep. In the beginning this took up to 30 minutes 40 minutes at the most. Now, if he cries, it either takes max 10 minutes OR he is truly hungry.

- Making naps last longer: When he woke up during naps, I did the above method "Pick up/Put down" until we hit the 1.5 hour mark. It took a couple days, but now, for almost EVERY nap he sleeps 1.5-2 hours.

-Unswaddling: Nathan told us he didn't want to be swaddled any more by waking himself up every time he flipped to his tummy. We just put him to bed without it and it didn't faze him one bit.

There you go. I hope this helps someone out there. Please ask me questions and I will tell you what we did. I am not an expert, but I can tell you what worked for us. Every kid is different, every family is different.

My kid flourishes on a schedule, our house thrives on it.